Wild Women Do, and They Don’t Regret It…
by Myrna Nickelsen (78)
(CLICK ON ANY PHOTO TO ENLARGE IT!)
“Wild women do
And they don't regret it
Wild women show
What they're goin' through
Wild women do
What you think they'll never...”
- From “Wild Women Do," sung by Natalie Cole
Several months back, Dana Williams (77) sent an email to a handful of women from Wagner regarding a strictly girls’ weekend in Vegas. I, along with a few other recipients, then forwarded the email to other Wagner women.
About two dozen or so women agreed to go, but as the date got closer, family and work commitments reduced the final number to 12. The final list of attendees: Dana Williams (77), Melinda De La Fuente (77), Lisa Ramos Wilcox (77), Heidi Young Johnsen (78), Cissy Morris Songalia (78), Sandy Morris (76), Liani Cubello Thompson (80), Sandy Tkach Schmidt (78), Josie Tan Lambert-Hetrick (77), Gigi (77), Nan Medauer Fitzgerald (78), and me.
Now, Nan Fitzgerald didn’t technically go to Wagner High since she left Wagner Middle halfway through 7th grade. But she, Heidi, and I were best friends in the 6th grade at Grissom and called ourselves the “Groovy Girls.” While Nan and I stayed in touch via letters and phone calls all those years, the first time we saw each other face-to-face since we said goodbye in 1972 was in October 2007. About a year ago, the three of us began talking about a Groovy Girls Reunion, so the Vegas trip seemed like the perfect time – especially since Nan, who lives in South Dakota, could then get a head start on a tan.
I knew all the women, but aside from Gigi and Josie, I hadn’t spent any time with the others during adulthood. And Gigi, who lives in Vegas, was only going to join us for one night. So I, personally, was apprehensive. The final list of women was the oddest grouping of Wagner women I’d ever seen – and to spend an entire weekend in such close quarters? I couldn’t even begin to imagine what to expect! But I’d committed, and there was no turning back. Worse case scenario, I’d simply end up chalking it up to one of my life's experiences.
Josie was no less apprehensive. Okay – I’ll admit our bias against seemingly "ultra-religious types" – mine possibly being a little more pronounced than Josie’s. I love and admire Heidi for a lot of reasons, but our paths diverged a long time ago when she joined God Squad. I’ve known for years that she and Lisa are best friends and, by my book, the two qualify as being “super religious." Compared to them, I've long known that I am a serious sinner and can often sound like a sailor after a glass of wine, and I don't like to be judged by mere mortals. Josie, too, was worried about being around the “straight-laced” types like Heidi and Lisa. (Proof that reputations follow us, regardless of their accuracy.)
As we were driving in my rental car to the condo (Heidi, Lisa, Nan, Josie, and I checked into our condo a day ahead of the other women), Josie turned to me and said, “Should I watch what I say around Lisa and Heidi? Will they think I’m too wild?”
“Hell, no, Josie,” I told her. “We’re too old to be worrying about what other people think of us. Be yourself, and they’ll either like you or not. It’s too much work for us to pretend to be anything other than who we are."
Josie took my words to heart, and herself she was.
Allmost immediately, Heidi, Lisa, Nan, and I were laughing our heads off at half the things that came out of Josie’s mouth -- immediate proof that I couldn’t have been more wrong about Heidi and Lisa. They are religious compared to me and Josie, but I couldn't have been more wrong about their being judgmental! Heidi and Lisa weren't trying to convert me, they were fun to be around, and they were amused by and laughed heartily about the same things heathens like me laughed about. And there were some pretty racy conversations!
Every woman that arrived after that blended right in. Conversations ran the gamut from silly to serious: true confessions, sex, careers, fears, aging, men, parents, children, the meaning of friendships, etc. No one held anything back. For one weekend, we were “wild women who were doing and not regretting.”
I was also a tad worried about Melinda. Before the weekend, I know I'd never said more than a hi or hello to her. Dana later told me, however, that the weekend wasn't her idea -- that it was Melinda's. (Thanks, Melinda!) I never even heard Dana's name before the San Diego Reunion. She and Josie were the only ones bold enough to wear 2-piece bathing suits during the weekend -- and no wonder! They looked fabulous!
Cissy? All I knew about Cissy was that she and I both had a crush on Tom Moore (78) when we were juniors and that she ran out of Edgerly's speech class! Sandy Tkach? All I knew about her was that once upon a time, she dated my friend, David Wilson (78), AFTER I left Wagner. Liani? She was Lenora's sister, and the two of them had been to every single reunion since 1982. The only thing I knew about Sandy Morris is that she graduated in 1976 and was Cissy's sister. In short, save for Gigi and Josie -- and Heidi (albeit from childhood) -- I really didn't know these women. But I now feel like I know every single one of them.
Josie summed up the weekend with “we did a lot and did nothing at the same time” – some together and some in smaller groupings. We each did as we wished when we wished. We sunbathed, swam, sat around talking over wine and cheese, ate at a Filipino restaurant, danced to a Filipino band that played 70s and 80s music, walked the strip, gambled (mostly Josie and Liani), cooked, and barbecued. Josie, a great dancer, gave us lessons on how to shake our booties. She also gave makeup lessons – how to accentuate the positives and minimize the flaws. Lisa taught us how to give ourselves facials. We belted to a karaoke machine. We laughed so hard so often during the weekend, that at one point, Josie said, "Stop! You're going to make me pee in my pants!"
My apprehensions were just downright stupid. They had no basis in reality. I had as much fun as I’ve had with any group of people from Wagner or any other group of people in my life, for that matter -- and perhaps, arguably more fun. It was a wonderful weekend with talented, smart, funny, fun loving, and warm women. But that’s my take. Here’s what some of the others have to say about it:
Dana Williams: My favorite part [about the weekend] was getting one on one time with every one. This is an incredible group of women, and Melinda was the only one I had spent any time with before, so it was such a pleasure to get to know every one else a little better. And Saturday night when Josie was showing us her dance moves was hysterical!
Lisa Ramos Wilcox: This was one of the best weekends of my life: total R&R with lots of estrogen flowing! What a gift to have first of all, gone to a great school like Wagner, and then to have gotten to know you all better! Heidi & I marveled at how we didn't know each other well in high school (the rest of the group) & yet, after the weekend, we feel like we made 9 new best friends!
I'm still laughing at the picture of Josie singing an all-too-appropriate song, “I Will Survive!” I told Heidi when we were flying home, "Call 'em up & ask 'em, ‘What're you guys doin' noooooww?!’" Waaah! I hated to leave!
My favorite part of the weekend was - I don't have one single one but many! But here they are in no particular order: having no agenda except to just hang out & relax - or not; going out for Filipino food & then going dancing to a great Filipino band! (I have to say I was a little skeptical when I heard they were an all Filipino band because I had visions of PY & his Orchestra back in the PI & them singing "Yellow Bird" or something like that! Or I thought they'd sing all the great songs but w/ the infamous Pinoy accent. You know: "I will surbibe…"); getting to know girls I didn't know at all in high school except in passing. Come to think of it, we all ran in different crowds. I hate to think what I would've missed out on had I not gone. Getting to benefit from everyone's expertise/experience (Myrna's culinary skills, Josie's knowledge of how to look our best (& dance our best!) &...never mind what else -- this part will only be known by those of us who were in the bedroom that one night...! And Liani’s salsa was to die for.
Sandy Tkach Schmidt: ..it was such a nice weekend of conversation, laughs, memories, fellowship, dancing, cooking and make-up lessons. I miss [the women], and I hope we can look forward to another gathering in the very near future.
Liani Cubello Thompson: I had the best time in a very short period of time. It was such a good time being able to really “visit” together. Because we were able to cook at our place, we were able to converse, walk around, drink, smoke, barbeque, whatever…it allowed us to get to know one another. In thinking back, I loved how, one moment I was cleaning my face and learning how to “wipe” my face the correct direction (thanks Lisa), to another moment being stretched and flexed in all directions like a pretzel just to help all of my old body aches and pains (thanks Josie). Things like this made our weekend even more special.
I had so many laughs throughout the weekend -- the bedroom conversation (true confessions) the first day, the dancing lessons, the karoake at Edna’s house, the giggling at 5am while Josie and I were quietly sneaking in the room…..and then waking up an hour later. Those are just some of what come to mind. Great time, great company, and great food!
Gigi: I was only with [the group] for one night - but it was an absolute blast! I loved catching up with everyone - it seemed so much easier to talk with the smaller group. And I loved just sitting around and talking while dinner and dessert were being prepared. It was as if we had all kept in touch for these many years and had grown old together (well, ok, just older, not old!)! Everyone looked absolutely marvelous!!! We should definitely have little mini-reunions more often.
Josie Tan Lambert-Hetrick: Just for the record, I was quite the reserved, quiet, shy, and mellow gal throughout the weekend – and the youngest of the bunch. So to everyone that’s reading about our weekend: they [the accounts] are not so true -- that is, those regarding me
. Oh, okay -- maybe just a little. (Heidi and Lisa, pray for all my wrongdoings...Myrna made me do it!)
Hey ladies, remember “what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas!" But now, the whole world knows! Do remember (you know who you are) the true confessions in mine and Heidi's room must remain forever secret...right ladies?
In all seriousness, like Myrna, I wasn’t sure what to expect from the "Vegas Baby" weekend. I actually almost bailed out! (Geez, imagine what I would have missed!) As all my newfound friends now know, I have gone and am still going through many changes in my life -- that going to Vegas "almost" became impossible. BUT I knew that if didn’t go, Myrna would have been worse to contend with than my mother's spankings. She would have forever haunted me in my nightmares! So I went.
I might not sometimes make great choices in life but this [going to Vegas] was a great decision. The weekend was a blast and so totally awesome! Heidi and I were roommates for the weekend, and we laughed our heads off trying to go to sleep the first night. Boy did we (or rather she) clear the air! And did we become tight after that first night...didn’t we, Heidi?
It was wonderful for Myrna and me to spend 1½ days together catching up at her sister Eden’s house prior to the main event. While I did a lot of R&R, we did so much fun laughing and carrying on that could only be done during a “no man weekend." There was so much “talkin" all days and all nights that we should have called it “Viva Las Venus, baby!” So a salute to my newfound Viva Las Venus BFFs! We all contributed and couldn’t have done it without one another. The turnout was fantastic, and it was a fabulous, forever-memorable weekend!
Josie and I were on the same flight to California. I was headed home, and she was headed for a visit with her sons and two grandchildren, whom Josie is teaching to call her “may may.” Is that Chinese for grandma, Josie? “No, it just sounds better than Grandma.”
Though she’d had all but an hour of sleep the night before, Josie was wired on the way home.
“Josie, where do you get all your energy? You’re like the energizer bunny!” I said to her.
“You want me to shut up?”
I was so tired I could barely muster a smile. Lovely, vivacious, funny, talented, and energetic Josie whom I didn't know at all at Clark but whom I'd gotten to know during the years she lived in California with husband #1. I never could have guessed in high school how much fun she was to be around or that she’d end up a dear friend and become one of my favorite people.
And so it was with the other women who were there that weekend. I never would have guessed that I’d like and enjoy being around these women as much as I did. I couldn’t have guessed in high school or even at the reunions that I’d one day end up calling them my friends. It just goes to show -- never judge a group before you spend time with them. The grouping may have struck me as odd, but saying yes anyway gave me a weekend I'll forever remember as one during which I spent with Wild Women doing. They and I have not one regret.
P.S. - The nimble, flexible woman standing on her head posted before this was Josie Tan Lambert-Hetrick. Amazing that she can still be so slim and limber after four children!
Photos numbered from top: 1) Seated on sofa, left to right from lamp: Sandy Tkach Schmidt, Josie, Melinda, Gigi, Lisa. Behind those seated on the floor is Sandy Morris. Those on the floor - left to right: Nan, Cissy, Myrna, Dana, Liani, Heidi. 2) The Groovy Girls Then & Now; 3) Getting ready for Filipino food and dancing; 4) Gigi and Lisa waiting for the food to cook; 5) Melinda and Dana checking out the floral display at Bellagio; 6) Another group photo; 7) Another group photo; 8) Lisa and Josie -- one can only imagine what it is they found funny!; 8) Dana & Myrna attempting to apply Josie's lessons of "dirty dancing"- the others who also got lessons had disbanded to laugh at our attempts; 9) Group shot at the restaurant - my sister, Edna, joined us. She chose the restaurant and the band; from #10 on -- just more posing to document the weekend.
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